Footballers mind-set to an injury

Mind-set

During my mid twenties I suffered a few long-term injuries and I really struggled to cope mentally. I wasn’t a great person to be around and unfortunately my family would take the brunt of my low moods. I would have a lot of self-pity, not being able to do my job made me feel useless. It was during one of these times that I made a conscious decision that things had to change, it wasn’t fair on the people close to me.

I started reading a lot of personal development books and I engulfed myself in positive practices and routines. It had an amazing effect on my life. To this day I read books every day that will improve myself as a person, it has allowed me to detach myself away from football, which is something I always used to struggle with. This has had a positive effect on my game as well as my personal life. So following the injury at QPR, I tried to take all negatives out of the situation and look at only the things I can effect.

There is nothing I can do about the diagnosis of the injury and nothing I can do about not playing. To stop thinking about these things, I look at all the things in my life I am grateful for, my wife and children, my friends and family, my occupation. I know I am an extremely fortunate individual who is living a privileged life that thousands of young kids dream of, so I really have no need to be moping about! Doing this will always shift my mood if I’m ever feeling down and it will be something I do on a daily basis to make sure my mind-set in the right place to optimise my recovery.

Operation Time

After a lazy day on Sunday, I was up bright and early on Monday morning. I caught a train from Shrewsbury down to London, meeting Phil Hayward en route.  We met with the specialist James Calder at his clinic around 1pm and after a quick X-Ray we were in his consultancy room reviewing the scan. He said it was obvious there was a significant break and the sensible option for me would be to have a surgery.

He briefed me on things I needed to do in preparation for the operation, things like no food and drink. We were then sent over to Cromwell Hospital in West London where a room would be ready for me to check in to. I would be his last operation of the evening so I knew it could be quite a while before I was taken down to theatre and I was already feeling hungry!!

It was a long afternoon waiting; I flitted between reading Steven Gerrard’s autobiography and watching Netflix’s ‘Making A Murderer’ to pass the time. With having two young children at home I don’t get to watch much TV so away trips and unfortunate situations like this are a good chance I get to catch up on films and box sets.

I finally got wheeled down to theatre just after 10pm, it had been a long day but at this point but I was more concerned how long a day it had been for James Calder!! I asked the nurse how he was feeling, and asked if he needed some Red Bull? She laughed… But I wasn’t joking!

I then got prepped with needles and tubes ready for the anaesthetist. He started pumping different fluids into my veins; the first he said was a strong painkiller and said I would start to feel ‘woozy’ in 30 seconds. I don’t know what his definition of ‘woozy’ is but I felt like I had just necked 10 pints… I felt steaming! He then put some general aesthetic in my hand and said you might feel a cold sensation moving up your arm and you will start to fall asleep shortly. Anyone who has had this done before will know it’s a strange sensation. I was determined to count to 10 and try to hold off going to sleep, I think I got to about 4 before I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore!

Post Op

Operation done!

I came around from the operation about 12.30am and then drifted back off till about 1.30am. When I woke this time, a nurse was in my room and asked how I was? I just replied, “I’m starving!” So there I was at 2am tucking into a big 3 course meal, it was amazing! After this I drifted in and out of sleep till around 7am. I then had a huge breakfast including an omelette. Cereals, fruit and toast, all topped off with a nice cup of tea. The service was amazing.

I was still in quite a bit of pain and my foot was throbbing! The operation involves three main incisions along the outside of my foot. One at the fracture sight, one at the base of my 5th metatarsal and one in my heel where a bone graft is taken. Also I had some cells taken from the bone marrow in my pelvis, which along with the bone graft is used at the fracture site to encourage healing.

A screw is then inserted at the base of my metatarsal along the length of the bone. I was then stitched back up and that’s it done and dusted! So after all that, the pain wasn't surprising and it stayed throughout the morning until I was discharged at around 1pm. It was an uncomfortable journey home as well which wasn't helped by breaking down on M40 turning my journey back to Shrewsbury into a 6-hour trip. I was desperate to get home, desperate to see my wife (Emma) and my kids (Jack 5, Evie 3) and also get showered and start feeling human again!

Starting my Road to Recovery

My main aim once I was home was to reduce the swelling. I had a lot of bandages on so I wasn't able to ice effectively. James Calder asked me to keep my foot above my hip as much as possible so the fluid would drain, he recommended for every hour, I shouldn't spend longer than 5 minutes with my foot down. This isn't as easy at it sounds! Luckily Emma has been amazing and has waited on me all week!

I am non-weight bearing for the first two weeks so even if I do make myself a drink it is near impossible to take it to another room without spilling it. So it has meant Emma has been doing everything. Its difficult as well not being able to really engage with Jack and Evie when they are playing. I seem to be trying to persuade them to either play a board game or watch a film with me. Nevertheless they have been keeping me well entertained, Jack showing me his football tricks and Evie doing her gymnastic routines! 

One thing I can control is my diet! I am a bit of a chocoholic and I do have to watch what I eat as my metabolism doesn't seem to the same as most of the boys in our team! I did a lot of research in hospital on how to improve my recovery and with some help from Emma who is a personal trainer and a real nutrition enthusiast and help from the sports science team at Wolves we have come up with a plan, which especially during the first 2 weeks will be vital on how quickly I will recover.

As I said earlier, the first few weeks are all about reducing swelling so I am eating foods high with anti inflammatory values, no refined sugars, and foods with high calcium content to help bone growth. So as you can imagine our fridge is very green and natural at the moment, we have kale and spinach coming out of our ears! I do love my cheat meals and chocolate but I know especially in the early stages I have to be disciplined enough to see the bigger picture! Not as easy as it sounds but one week in and so far so good! 

My scars 5 days post operation.

I was back in at the training ground on Thursday to see the medical team. They wanted to take my bandages off and assess the wounds. Also Phil Hayward could give me different things to get started with to help with the recovery process! I could start using a Game Ready machine at home, which is a brilliant bit of equipment, it supplies ice and compression using different body part wraps.  I could also start using an Exogen machine; this is a bone-healing piece of equipment, which uses high frequency waves applied to my foot to encourage bone growth. Once the bandages were off, it was interesting to see how my foot looked, and I was very impressed with how the scars looked, I also didn't have much swelling so all the keeping my foot above my hip had really helped!

Game Ready on with the football!

Now back at home one week on from the injury, I'm sat at home watching the football scores on the TV, Game Ready on whilst writing my first ever blog! Since the injury, everything has gone to plan and I have had a really positive week, everything seems to be on track. I'm hoping a weekly blog will help me along my road to recovery but also give people who read it a real personal insight into the football world and what it takes, mentally and physically to recover from an injury. As I've mentioned footballers live a privileged life but I know players who have really struggled with mentally overcoming their battles with injury and this will hopefully touch on some of the mental battles that I am going to face. But for now, I am positive, have great people around me and I've already nearly completed 10% of my road to recovery! 

Hope you enjoyed it!

Eddo 

Saturday 23rd January | QPR v Wolves

QPR v Wolves Saturday 23rd January 2016

Saturday afternoon... My favourite time of the week! We were away at QPR in front of the Sky cameras. I've always loved playing at Loftus Road, a real old-school stadium with stacks of history! The fans are right on top of you and you can hear every single insult. The Wolves away support were as vocal as ever drowning out the home fans chants. After an uninspiring opening 45 minutes performance from ourselves where we conceded an early goal, we started the 2nd half well managing to draw level through a fortuitous James Henry strike. From that point on we began to dominate and you could see confidence flooding into the lads play, we created chances and should have been ahead.

I thought I had headed us into the lead only for the goalkeeper make a good low diving save around the 75^th minute mark and then moving into the final part of the game I was adamant we were going to get the second goal and we won a free kick in the oppositions half. Kevin McDonald stood over it and he played a short pass to me. As I controlled the ball I saw I was being closed down from my left side, I manoeuvred the ball away from the challenge by dragging it away with my right foot and as I turned I got challenged by Tjaronn Chery, the QPR midfielder.

It was a challenge that happens countless times during a season with no other result than me bouncing back up to play on, but as this happened my left foot got caught under Chery's right leg with no place to go. It was like slow motion, I felt my foot get into a position where it had no further to go and then.... The harrowing noise that any footballer dreads... CRACK! Within a split second my mind was racing through many different scenarios, I knew I had heard the crack, I knew I had agonising pain along the side of my foot but I wouldn't admit to myself the reality of the situation because I knew the consequences. Phil Hayward, our head of medical came rushing to my side "Eddo, Eddo.... Where’s the pain?"

"Side of my foot, 5th met!" I replied anxiously.

"Did you hear a crack?" 

"No, nothing!" I instantly blurted out. "The pain is in my ankle now, it will be fine, just give me a minute and I'll run it off." As I stood up Phil signalled to the Gaffer that I was struggling but to give me a minute. I was just hoping that my body's pain sensors were lying to me and I'd be okay. As I got to the side of the pitch the Gaffer said, "Dave, are you going to be okay?" 

"I'm fine, I'm fine" I quickly replied. I hobbled back onto the pitch.

Phil Hayward assessing my injury whilst I'm in a lot of pain!

It’s amazing what the adrenaline pulsing through your veins can make you do! But as I stepped into a jog, I just felt crunching in the side of my foot, I felt sick! I turned around straight away and started slowly limping towards the tunnel and signalled to the Gaffer I needed to come off. I pulled my shirt above my eyes as I felt myself welling up. It’s a bizarre feeling, I was angry, how could I let myself get into that position? I should never be going for a short free kick! Why did I drag the ball back!? If I'd of scored my header then that scenario would never of even come about! All pointless arguments I was having with myself but the frustration was raw!

I was swiftly escorted down the tunnel with Jaz Sodhi, one of our first team physio's for a full assessment. Once back inside the dressing room I climbed on the treatment table, I straightaway said, "I've cracked my 5th met."

"Did you hear the crack?" Jaz replied.

"Yeah, I’m sure I did" I was finally accepting what had actually happened. As Jaz did his assessment, I was in quite a lot of pain and it was obvious from the tests he was doing that I had broken my 5th metatarsal on my left foot.

Jaz was keeping me positive, physio's not only have to be experts in physiotherapy and rehabilitation but they also have to have good people skills, be a friend, even a councillor to a certain extent as keeping a player's morale, positivity and work ethic at good levels during an injury will be key to how they return. We are lucky at Wolves that we have a great medical team, all of whom are excellent physios but excellent people along with it.

As I was waiting for the end of the game, I hobbled to the shower before the rest of the lads came in; I was unable to put any weight through my left foot at all. I showered and slowly got myself changed. I was asking Jaz how long the rehab would take if my metatarsal was broken and he indicated I was looking at 12 weeks, I quickly took to my phone and opened up my calendar to see where this would take me. I was hoping to see that I'd be back before the end of the season, the thought of not pulling on a Wolves shirt until the start of next season was gut wrenching but I was also thinking I need to available and playing to have a chance of be selecting for Wales for the upcoming Euro 2016.

Coming up to 30 years of age, I know my chances of playing at a major tournament are diminishing. After a mesmerising qualifying campaign of which I was heavily involved in, I have been so excited about having the chance of being selected for the tournament, I knew I had to be playing at Wolves, had to be playing well and need to be fit to be selected as we have an array of talented midfielders in Wales. I was thankful to see 12 weeks would take me to mid April, so even this soon after the injury I was adamant that if there was anything I could do in my power to get back in time and in good shape then I was going to do it! I knew there was nothing else that I could do apart from concentrating on getting fit and see where that takes me. Hopefully that place would be a play off campaign and a major tournament!!

After the game had finished and I had the usual well wishes off everyone, we headed back to the training ground. It was a journey where I chatted a lot to Tommy Rowe, someone who suffered the same injury this time last year, Tommy recovered in the 12 weeks and has had no adverse effects since so I was keen to pick his brains! I also spoke to Phil Hayward. Phil had spoken to James Calder who is a foot and ankle specialist in London and managed to book me in for a scan on Monday and surgery for Monday evening if the scan revealed the break. This was good news, if I needed surgery, then the sooner I could get it done meant the sooner I would recover and therefore be back on the pitch quicker. This shows what a privileged life myself as a footballer lives. Being able to have surgery 48 hours after an injury was amazing, I know of someone who suffered a anterior cruciate ligament injury the same weekend as Nouha Dicko suffered his. Nouha is now 4 months post op and the other lad still has to wait another month for his operation. It’s crazy when you think of it like that, and these are the sorts of things I will never take for granted.

The scan at the training ground showing a clear break.

Back at the training ground we have the luxury of an ultrasound scanner. So when we arrived back, Phil took me to have a scan of my foot, he told me that it will only pick up anything blatantly obvious so we might need to wait for the scan on Monday. Within seconds though, Phil turned the scanner’s screen towards me and said, “This white line running across the screen is your 5^th met, it should be solid, but obviously its not!” Even though in my heart I knew I had broke it, to actually see it, glaringly obvious in front of my eyes was still difficult to take. But straightaway that gave me closure and a timescale. It is hard to have an injury with no end date, you always feel in limbo. But this gave me a definitive timescale to work towards; it was a positive I was taking from the news. I headed away from the training ground about 7pm knowing the next few months was all going to be about myself having positive mind-set!